To Say I Love You Right Out Loud

Maybe it's my fever. Maybe it's 'cause I can't stop sneezing and my nose keeps running.....

But yeah like Joni, I really don't know life at all.

I look at pictures of my daughters (while Both Sides Now) strumming in the background and I am sentimental and cry.

I really don't know how it got to this.

Sidenote: I also shoved a huge piece of coffee cake even though I couldn't taste it...down my throat.

I miss them. So much. I want it to be like it was before....illusions...I really don't know life at all.

There are tears and fears and feeling proud. Only I don't feel proud. I feel fears and tears.  

I read the old cards they sent me and like the song....I want to say I LOVE YOU right out loud.

So many things I would've done.  Done differently. 

Illusions. Don't give yourself away. 

I really don't know love at all. 

The pictures of my daughters are so beautiful. Each one has her own distinctive beauty. I look in wonder and think how did these beautiful women come out of my belly?

And now they are out of my belly, long gone, disconnected totally....

Thanks Joni, even in 1969 you nailed it for me. Who knew when I was 9 your song was to become my anthem.

Like you, I really don't know life at all.