Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Changes......turn and face the strain.

Whoever said, change is good, probably didn't have to change much.

My car is broken down. It can't be fixed. I love my car. It's a bruised, battered, 2005 Hyundai Sonata. I bought it new when I moved into this house. After my divorce. After split-levels and minivans, after swim clubs, after homebound with my babies for 10 years, after trips to Disneyland, dinners with in-laws, life with someone for 21 years and then: change. Realizing your marriage is ending. Because you're ending it. It's broken down. It can't be fixed.

Now I waited about 11 years to remarry. I didn't rush out and sign a new lease;  I didn't want to. No way!! Never marrying again. Had to figure out what I wanted. What was best for these precious, fragile, girlies. My robin eggs. They needed nurturing. So I waited.

And waited, and waited.

I am so resistant to change. Still am. When my girls begged me to go to a particular church service, "sizzling summer" it was called actually, oh how I hated it!! Especially the singing!! Ahhhhhhhh what kind of music is this??? I was so resistant to God, to worship music, it's funny to think that now I am the one buying the J.J. Heller and Chris Tomlin cds. Don't get me wrong, I will always love me some 80's music, a girl still needs to hear The Talking Heads once in awhile. But I've changed. As much as I didn't want to, it wasn't up to me. It was up to Him. 

The Change to Him was Good.

The changes to everything else, well sometimes good, and yet, sometimes I resist and my temper gets the best of me and don't want anything to change! My adult temper tantrum begins. Ugly.

Then I read Scripture, shut up and start thinking how He's thinking about me, and how silly I must look over resistance to change. Some changes are obedience to Him in disguise. 

The only thing we can count on is God's Love, and change.

Oh and let's not forget. Cars breaking down. That ain't never gonna change. 

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