Monday, June 17, 2013

Truth or Christianese? True Story #2

Christianese. This is a term my daughter, may or may not have invented, but she used it, defined it (to me) and you know what? I saw the truth in it.

The more I delve into Christianity, I see a transparency; light, filmy pretty lifestyle, that would merit the term "Christianese".

Journaling, pinteresting, mommy-blogging, pretty people with shiny white teeth, and pretty jobs, all loving the Lord, praying and meditating on the Word. Thin, comfortable, educated and compassionate. Oh, so compassionate. 

Does that sound truthful or envious? I don't know. Maybe both. I am fascinated by these people. I met a slew of them at a Women's Conference in a beautiful, manicured church, which looked more like a resort than a church, really,...anyway there were everywhere. I was there too, waiting to hear the charismatic woman/author/blogger Christian speaker.

She was great. Funny and beautiful, spot on with the mommy jokes. Down to earth. She had that whole Sandra Bullock from the Blind Side schtick goin' on....southern, sassy, well you know, Sandra Bullocky....

I bought her book. Hey, I wanna be like that. I wanna be Christianese. So I'll buy the book. I waited in line to get it signed. Cool. Gonna meet the beautiful, funny, down to earth, bible- loving author, and maybe her Christianese will rub off on me and I will be gentler, thinner, more feminine, develop a Southern accent, and fly all around the world, showing down to earth women like me that they can be Christianese too. Wow. Doin' it.

Well my 10 seconds with her came and went. She asked me my name, and as I stood 12 inches in front of her, I suddenly got a weird feeling, like I was waiting for someone or something which wasn't real. Her beautiful teenage daughter was behind her, and as I stared at her (the teenager) with her pageant-like beauty and as I heard myself saying my first name and blurting, "you're funny, I like it". It was if I was giving props to a really good comedian. "Hey dude, your stand up was awesome tonight"....

That doesn't feel like God. That doesn't feel like Grace. She was great, she was entertaining, but there was a truthfulness missing. Or maybe she's been speaking at too many engagements, way too much.  It was missing the RAWNESS of Grace, of God, of Salvation. The RAWNESS of the Crucifixion, the RAWNESS of the Resurrection, the RAWNESS of Jesus.

I think Grace and Salvation are so RAW that yeah you can be funny and polished, but then again maybe you shouldn't?  Maybe Christianese isn't what God wants. Jesus wasn't Christianese. He hung around with the not so pretty people. The gritty, unlovable, people. The whores and tax collectors and lepers and the poorest of the poor, and the least educated. Truth.

And all the while, I am looking to be Christianese, I know in my gut, that's not it. That's not me. That's not Grace. I don't even think it's Christian. I don't know, I just want to know Truth.

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