We've known each other since 1981. While sitting on the beach with one of my oldest and best friends, I tried to explain what having a relationship with Jesus is really about. Man, did I do a really, really bad job.
She started asking me questions, like...."well, what you mean Jesus answered all your prayers, isn't that just life working itself out.." and I'm babbling....ummmm, yeah but I just love Him so much! Then I REALLY started : There's a hole in me that no food, no pill, no wine, no man, no friend, no nothing can fill like Jesus....and you know if you were like really into knitting.....you'd wanna join a knitting club, right? So that's why I go to church, 'cause I wanna be with other people that love Him so much, like me.
And I am not afraid of death, ok, yeah, maybe still a little...but this Alpha course I took, blah, blah, blah...I was plummeting. It got so bad I started to sing, (which I absolutely should never do in public anyway since I have no tone whatsoever) and she said I sounded like an old woman, which was hilarious but didn't help and then I declared to her I would happily kneel on this beach, RIGHT NOW and exclaim to the everyone how much I love Jesus.
And then she's asking me about small groups...and I'm promoting small groups, because she really doesn't know what they are about and then I say: well, NORMAL people go...it's not like that....UGH.
And she concludes with "but maybe everything you went through in your life, Maria, maybe that's why you love God, you and your kids and all that divorce and stuff... and you're still kinda screwed up, ....so...uhhhhh...anyway, where's that Pottery Barn Catalog you brought?"
Oh whatthe......I mean, you had to be there.
I blew it. My one in, my chance to tell one of my dearest friends about the Love and Grace that only comes through Jesus. She's never asked before, I never tried to Bible thump or push anything down her proverbial spiritual throat...And there I am, the woman who can debate and shoot the crap for hours about literally anything just drops the Jesus ball. Man.
I have never had such a clear, intimate opportunity to evangelize...and it all came out like crazychristiantownusa.
I needed help. But I didn't ask. I just kept trying to expound to her about the Bible, how it's the one true word, how it calms me down when I am all riled up about whatever...how everything in the Bible is actually coming to fruition, and blah blah blah...crazychristiantownusa.
I do not know how to witness. I do not know how to evangelize. And I am gonna learn. 'Cause the next time God gives me a perfect shot at telling a friend or family member about Him and His Son and the Holy Spirit, and grace, you can be dangsure I ain't gonna be comparing it to a knitting club...
And I am NOT going to start singing. Not Ever.