How do you pray? Is praying a conversation you are having with God while driving, but really you're just talking to yourself, a rambling narrative in your head, wishing someone or something would conform to your ideas and ways at that moment? Just rambling notes to God.
Or are you intentional? Do you sit quietly somewhere each day and meditate and give thanks and praise to the Almighty? I don't. I am learning to pray. I am reading books on the subject. I want to pray the way C.S. Lewis wrote about prayer : "lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us." That's how I am learning to pray. Intentional, devotional, determined and honest. I want to be fully present in prayer.
I am laying it out there Lord, and it ain't always pretty. But I'm praying.
I used to say "as long as I get in, as long as I slide into Heaven, sliding like Indiana Jones, I don't care if I have to live in the ghetto of Heaven, just as long as I get in".
Now I feel differently. I've changed. I want to see God's face the day I die and hear "good job Maria, you changed; you were a good and faithful servant". It's hard to think of yourself as a servant in this world, it's countercultural to what we've been taught. But I am trying.